Thursday, August 16, 2007

Excerpt from an IM conversation about infertility this afternoon with a girl I used to baby sit who is expecting her first:

well i would say not to stress and just let it happen and if it is meant to be then it will happen

This, from a girl I expected to understand because her mother went through hell to have her and her sister (10 years and 7 miscarriages between them).

So, I bit the bullet and gave her more information than she needed to know, in the hopes that maybe she'll avoid saying that to someone else in the future.

I've got PCOS. It ain't gonna 'just happen' for us!


In other news, I was laid up in bed today with an irritated sciatic nerve, and I had a wonderful conversation with a great friend which took my mind off the pain and boosted my mood and optimism. Thanks again Milissa - I just wish we could get to have chats like that more often!


  1. Ouch, comments like these just sting and sting don't they?
    I still can't believe that people say such stupid things. I mean, no one would say to a heart by pass patient, well if you're meant to live you will. It just wouldn't happen.
    It makes it sound as if we shouldn't be chasing a dream, or trying to fix what isn't working. We should just accept our lot. I'm sure no other medical condition is treated this way. Not that I know of anyway.

  2. I enjoyed myself too darling! Friends are brought into our lives to help carry us when we are feeling weak (or when our sciatic is acting up). I feel blessed we have been able to rekindle our friendship. You are a breath of fresh air!!

  3. Comments like that are why I stopped talking to people about IF with people that haven't been through it.

    Sorry to hear about the pain you're in. I know someone else that suffers with recurrent sciatic nerve pain. Ouch!

    Thx for visiting my blog! Yes, they tried the dye test and couldn't find any leaks. Ughhh!

  4. Yeah, I've gotten that "just relax" bit from far too many lately. It seems that even those who you have informed that "just relaxing" doesn't work for me. And whose to say that I am (or you are) any more update than the millions of pregnant women we have to be jealous of every day.

  5. Anonymous17.8.07

    I had a stupid fertile myrtle tell me recently that we needed to just stop trying so hard and it would happen. I said "Hello? I DON'T OVULATE WITHOUT MEDICATION. That kind of makes it IMPOSSIBLE to get pregnant without trying." I really hate stupid people.

  6. I hate the term "meant to be." Just can't stand it.

  7. I'd like to punch that girl. Gawd people have no idea.

  8. I'm planning to put up big billboards all over the country that say "If you don't know what to say to your infertile friends, SAY NOTHING"

    Now, can I have the address of the busiest highway location in your zip code?

  9. Yeah, I've had similarly insensitive comments from friends who wen't through IF themselves.

    People just don't think.

  10. Good for you for educating the uneducated fertile! I hope you are feeling better now. Enjoy the weekend.

  11. Ugh, I hate how people seem to get amnesia! I'm so sorry you had to hear that insensitivity but you handled it very well.

    I'm glad you were able to get a boost from your friend. Much needed!

    And I hope you feel better. Sciatic nerve pain is horrible.

  12. If I hear, 'it will happen, just relax' one more time.. I swear. You try relaxing when the highlight of your day is peeing on a stick and your sex life has become completely scheduled. Like dmarie said, comments like that are why my blog is my only outlet. Even friends who have been through IVF act *superior* to me in the IF world.

    I'd say 'don't let it get to you', but that isn't really necessary. Just stay as strong as you can.

  13. Is it bad that I want to jump through the computer screen after reading this post? I swear my blood pressure just went up and this is an OLD POST!