Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Nothing new to report, really. Moved up to 1700mg of Met with no adverse effects. Weight loss has stabilized. Discovered that even missing one dose can bring back the out-of-whack-blood-sugar-mood-swings. Oops. That's about all.

What I really came here to tell you is...

SmarshyBoy is back! I was so excited when I saw the new posts in my reader that I nearly squealed!

So go quick and catch up, cause this here? Is a very boring blog this week. ;)

Friday, July 27, 2007

Check out my ticker waaaaaaay at the bottom. I'll wait for you to get back.

Awesome, eh? And it's even better than that, because I was actually up 3 from my original starting point before I started the Metformin.

I'm the amazing shrinking woman! No doubt in my mind whatsoever anymore that Met is the right way to go for me. Clearly, my body needs it.

Now to figure out how to work a new wardrobe into the budget... ;)

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

HSG report!

As I was walking in to the hospital, I gave myself a paper-cut with my requisition form. Ah crud, I thought, that might be a bad sign.

Got checked in, got my gown on (and the last housecoat! Woo Hoo!), and got settled in to wait.

The tech assisting Dr. Wonderful came to get me, and it turned out that I know her. She was the tech that gave me my first ultrasound when I was pregnant with M, and she has a son M's age that goes to M's school. So, we chatted for a bit while she got everything set up. She threw me off guard when she said "so you're going to have another?", but then I clued in that the procedure I was there for and the 'second degree infertility' notation on the requisition would have tipped her off. Silly me!

She asked me when my last period started, and just as I was answering her, Dr. W walked in. He smiled and commented that I had been correct in my estimate, and that I obviously knew my body really well. I laughed and said "more than I ever thought I would", to which he responded "And probably more than you ever wanted to!". We had a chuckle over that, and then it was down to business.

He was having trouble getting my cervix into view, and he asked me if my pap smears were usually difficult. I said no, but that my cervix was probably being uncooperative because it knew what was coming!

There was definitely some pain and cramping - thank goodness I took Advil beforehand, because I just cannot imagine how bad it would have been without. They took the x-rays, and then after the radiologist had left they brought them up on the screen so that I could take a look. My uterus is perfectly normal, and both tubes spilled dye beautifully. I was surprised by the difference in configuration of my tubes. The left one was really long and straight and the dye was spilling out over towards my hip bone. The right was really curvy and convoluted and the dye was spilling out right next to my uterus. Dr. W didn't seem to think that was a problem.

As he was cleaning up, he asked me if he had already told me that fertility is increased in the three months following the procedure, and I said yes. Then I smiled and asked him if I had told him that it took me over three months to ovulate last cycle. He laughed, because of course I had told him that and he knew I was just being cheeky. Then he said "you never know", and said he'd see me at my next appointment (as yet unscheduled - I'm supposed to go see him again once AF shows again).

I got cleaned up and got the hell out of there, because at this point all I wanted to do was get home and lie down on the couch. I wasn't in tons of pain, but it was enough that I was really glad I took the afternoon off work.

All in all, a good day, and thankfully the paper-cut was just me being uncoordinated, and not an omen of things to come.

Thank you all for your good thoughts today! I really appreciate them!
HSG in 5 1/2 hours. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time. Excited because if it is clear, that's another great step forward. Nervous because I've heard it's going to hurt like hell. And nervous that there will be a problem...

Wish me luck!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

CD2 today! That means HSG is definitely a go for Wednesday!

Unfortunately, I woke up with a migraine. Which means I'm going to miss a good friend's bridal shower/stagette tonight. I'm super bummed about that.

Going back to bed to try to sleep off this monster.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

I understand now how Metformin helps you lose weight. It makes you so nauseated that you have to force food down your throat in order to thwart malnutrition. It's all coming together now...

Someone please tell me that this is only temporary.

In the past two days, I've consumed two containers of yogurt, one bowl of vegetable soup, 2 eggs, a serving of fried mushrooms (which actually made me feel soooo much better for a little while), and the filling out of a seafood medley wrap. The only thing I can drink without feeling like I'm going to vomit is milk.

And this is only on 500mg a day! I hope my body adapts soon, because I'm getting a headache from the lack of nutrition!

**Edited to respond to a comment:

Actually, saras-p, I have been super super super lucky in that regard. So far, it's just the nausea and a little bit of gas. Which I guess I should count as a blessing!

Thanks for the comments everyone! I'm still nauseated, but with hope that it will end soon!

Monday, July 16, 2007

My doctor's office is right on the waterfront, which is one of my favorite places in the town that I grew up in. I live in the next city over now, and I don't go back nearly as often as I'd like to. I got to my doctor's office half an hour early (completely over-estimated how bad traffic might be), which gave me an opportunity to take a leisurely stroll along the beach. Unfortunately, I didn't take my camera, but I did grab a screen capture off of the web cam from the restaurant next door to the clinic. It doesn't do it complete justice, but you can get the idea.

The walk was a great chance to wind down and relax before my appointment. I wandered down there for a few minutes, but I burn easily and I wasn't wearing sunscreen, so I decided to head up to the street and do some window shopping. I found M a great skirt to wear to a wedding we're going to in a couple of weeks, and as I was heading to the register I saw a lone "I'm a Big Sister" shirt hanging on a rack near the register. I looked at the tag, and it's M's size, so I decided to grab it. I'm having some buyer's remorse, because it almost seems like I'm inviting bad karma by buying it now, but hopefully she'll need it before she outgrows it.

They took me right in to an exam room when I got to the office. I did have to wait a bit because the two patients before me both went over, but I enjoyed the time reading all of the jokes in an old issue of Reader's Digest.

I've been struggling over what to call my doctor here, but after today I think I'll call him Dr. Wonderful. It was a great appointment, and I left feeling like we're a team in this. He listened to my ideas, explained things in great detail when I had questions, and was so optimistic that it wore right off on me.

We discussed why the Prometrium didn't work. Everything I had read online said that if it doesn't cause a withdrawal bleed, that is a sign of insufficient uterine lining. Since that has never been a problem for me, I was very confused. He explained that for some people, Prometrium seems to reset their hormones back to the beginning of a cycle without the bleed, which explains why this cycle went on for another 36 days past the Prometrium before *anything* happened.

He agrees that I have O'd, just based on my symptoms, and had the nurse book me in for an HSG next Wednesday (he's already got one that day, so it's easiest) assuming that I'll start bleeding Friday or Saturday. He said doing the HSG if I'm bleeding isn't a problem, and that even if I don't get AF until Monday or Tuesday he still wants to go ahead. Based on my usual LP, I don't think it'll be a problem.

Then we discussed what we're going to do after the HSG. He wanted me to started on BCP's after the HSG, to ensure a shorter cycle so that we can move on to Clomid right away. However, as soon as I told him that I have migraines with neurological side effects (numbing, visual disturbances, slurred speech) that are made worse and more frequent by BCP's, he said there was no way he wanted to put me through that.

At that point, he said that as unfortunate as it was, we might just have to wait for the HSG cycle to end on it's own, since Prometrium probably won't work for me. At that point, I asked if starting Metformin now would be a good idea, since it could shorten my cycles, and we could be waiting a few months for a new cycle anyway. He agreed, so that's the plan.

HSG on the 25th, Met starting tonight at 500mg, increasing to 500mg twice a day in one week, and then up to 850mg twice a day the week after that. As soon as a new cycle starts, we'll add Clomid at 50mg for 5 days, and see how I respond to that. He said as long as I tolerate the Met well, he'll keep me on that throughout treatment.

I had a good chuckle when we talked about Met side effects, because when he mentioned weight loss, he added that he would want to monitor my weight carefully since I'm "not overweight to begin with", and he wouldn't want me to lose "too much". I must hide it well, because I'm actually clinically overweight by 10 pounds, and over my "ideal" weight (based on BMI) by 30 pounds. I could lose 40 pounds comfortably. I highly doubt the Met would make me lose *that* much, so I think I'll be fine.

While I was waiting for my prescription, I wandered around Superstore (which I normally avoid, but you can't beat the prescription prices) for a while. Picked up a new shirt in a(n) (optimistic) size small (it fits, but will fit better if I lose a couple of pounds), the two HP movies that we don't already own (Philosopher's Stone and Goblet of Fire), and some new eyeliner. And then I went home and told R to take my bank card away, because I was on a spending spree (I also bought new cordless phones on Saturday) and needed to be stopped. At least until I put the claim in to my extended medical to get back what I paid for the Met. ;)

Friday, July 13, 2007

Hey there Ovaries!

Nice to see you finally returned to work! Must be mighty nice to take a three month vacation without putting in any notice. Well, I guess technically I should have expected this, being that you've been on holidays more than you've been at work this year. Anyway, enough of that, I'm just glad you've returned, and this cycle is nearing an end. Terribly nice of you to come back after I'd already made an appointment with my doctor to discuss a temp replacement for you though. Maybe next time just send me a postcard and let me know when your flight gets in, so I don't jump the gun again.

Yours Truly,

Happy to be in the TWW!

So yes, it looks like I finally really did actually O. I wasn't convinced, but 7 days of higher temps did change my mind eventually. Especially when I overlayed my charts at ovulation, and these are normal post-O temps for me. It had been so long I'd forgotten. ;)

So, appointment with doc on Monday is pretty pointless, but I'm going to go anyway. I wanted to talk to him about starting Metformin *before* we do the HSG, just to get things trucking along. I'm not going to tell him that I've been charting again (he didn't exactly put down charting, but he gave me the impression that he thinks it's pointless once you've diagnosed SIF and are starting to pull out the big guns) - I'll just tell him that I think I've O'd and that if I don't start a new cycle within a week of the appointment, that we'll need to do something else.

Anyway! Off to work! 7.5 more hours till the weekend!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Triple digits! Woo Hoo!

Oh wait. That's not a good accomplishment when we're talking about cycles. Damn.

6 day countdown to appointment with my specialist!

Saturday, July 7, 2007

I just have to share a post I just finished reading over at Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters, called The Stirrup Queen's Sliding Scale of Happiness (Thanks to Zee for linking it in her Bloggiversary post today!). It's from last August, so if you're like me and have only been part of the IF blogging world for a few months, or if you just haven't read that particular post, definitely get your tush over there and have a read!

Make sure you read the comments too. My favorite, by C from This Sorta Fairytale reads:
The best way I've discovered to explain the sliding scale and my reaction to many pregnancy announcements is that while I *am* happy for the parents-to-be, grief about my own infertility is a much stronger emotion.
Very well said!

On a slightly funnier note, I actually burst into tears one night when my Tamagotchi met the Match Maker and had a baby (If you haven't heard of them, they're little handheld virtual 'pets' from Japan). I think R thought I had officially lost it at that point, when I walked into the kitchen with the toy in hand and tears streaming down my face and said "See! Even my Tamagotchi can get pregnant! How come I can't?". I'm amazed and thankful that he didn't burst out laughing, as I did a couple of days later thinking back on it.

Oh, and as I mentioned above, it's Zee's Bloggiversary today, so make sure you head on over there and give her some Bloggiversary lovin'!

Friday, July 6, 2007

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone that has added me to their blogroll. I get a little lump in my throat and a nice warm cozy feeling knowing that not only are there people that read my blog, but like it enough to share it with others. It's really nice to know that we're not alone in this. I love you guys!
Some of you may have noticed that I did an override on my chart and put in an ovulation day 2 days ago. Now, when I first started charting, I was totally against the override function, because I figured that FF probably knew better than I did what the heck was going on in my body. Since then, I've learned a lot, and feel like I'm pretty in tune with what's happening at various times throughout my nightma... I mean, cycles.

So that is why, when two nights ago my nipples started to burn and throb and become so sensitive that the mere presence of fabric over top of them was excrutiating (seriously, it was so bad that when I was lying in bed naked trying to avoid letting anything touch them, the breeze from the fan was painful), I could only assume that I had O'd. The *only* time they have hurt like that since I started charting was immediately after ovulation.

Combine that with the fact that I'd had a killer migraine on Tuesday - another good sign, and that my face is currently so oily you could fry an egg on me if I laid out in the sun, and it seemed set in stone!

So, I happily entered O on my chart, and began to envision this cycle finally being over! Yay! Forgot to take my temp yesterday morning, but didn't really care, because I *knew* that I had O'd! My body was telling me so! I went off to work, confident in the knowledge that there was no longer a need to call my OBGYN. AF was on her way soon!

This morning, I woke up, stuck my BBT in my mouth, and waited for the numbers to confirm what I already knew. And there it was, a beautiful 36.28C (97.3F). Wait, WTF? That's certainly no post-O temp!

So, I trudged over to the computer, took out my override, and I'm going to call the doc's office as soon as I get to work. Damn damn damn!!!

Monday, July 2, 2007

kirby at What to expect when you're not expecting started a new haiku meme, and even though she didn't tag me, I couldn't resist!

"Here's the deal. You write a haiku to describe your IF/latest cycle/you name it. It can be deep and emotional, or snarky and bitchy, or just downright funny.

A haiku is a 17 syllable poem in three lines: the first and third lines have five syllables each, the second line has seven."

Here's mine:

Hey there Ovaries!
Having a nice vacation?
Please write home soon, k?

Sunday, July 1, 2007

I was absolutely *dreading* the Canada Day celebrations today, because I *swear* every year it seems like they must bring bus loads of pregnant women into town just for the soul purpose of walking around the park. I know that's completely crazy, but it crosses my mind every year!

I first noticed this phenomenon several years ago, before we had decided to try, but after I got the baby bug in a bad way. At that time, seeing all the pregnant bellies was a reminder of what we weren't quite ready to do. Now, it's a reminder of what we're unable to do.

However, I am pleased to report that the bus must have gotten a flat on the way to the park, because I saw many less large bellies than usual.

All in all, it was a wonderful day, and even though we aren't realizing our current dream, we are incredibly blessed to have M. She certainly takes the sting out of days like today.