Saturday, March 14, 2009

Breastfeeding Dilemna

I have a confession to make.

Breastfeeding Destructor has not been the most wonderful experience of my life, and I think it's going to be time to quit soon.

I've had to constantly fight to keep my supply up, and am currently taking twenty-six pills a day just to keep my supply at a level where Destructor doesn't get so impatient while nursing that he bites me out of frustration. We supplement with formula as well, which some days he doesn't seem to need at all and some days probably constitutes most of his liquid intake. I also pump in between feedings when my supply is low, to try to stimulate more production, which I actually don't mind at all, but it is getting harder and harder to find time for as Destructor gets busier and more mobile.

I'm also going back to work full-time soon, and while I don't mind pumping at home I absolutely loathe pumping at work. I'm really fortunate, in that I have my own office with a lockable door, so it shouldn't be such a big deal but I just don't like it. I can, and probably will, continue to come home at lunch and pump then, but I'm not sure how long my supply will hold up for doing that.

But I just feel like a big ol' whiner for contemplating giving up now. We've only made it nine months and I planned on nursing him for two years. Of course, I had no idea of the struggle I was going to have with my supply.

I have to stop taking the Domperidone soon, as my doc won't let me stay on it for more than a month so that might make all of this moot because if he starts biting me again I really have no choice but to stop because I can't risk permanent damage from those sharp little teeth.

Oh, and I currently have a plugged duct which (pardon my language) really fucking hurts!!!

Thoughts? Advice? Suggestions?

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10 comments:

  1. Oh I absolutely cannot give advice- I flunked because my milk never actually came in.

    Nine months is a bloody good innings comapred to my not at all.

    xx

    J

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  2. I have found that there have been a lot of things that I had planned on doing (or not doing) in the first year but once the baby was actually here things were different. Sometimes the picture we have in our heads just doesn't work with the circumstances that we're given and we're forced to make changes to the original plan.

    You've fought an amazing fight with the breastfeeding, a fight that most people would have given up on a long, long time ago. I personaly think 9 months is fantastic and you should be very proud of yourself.

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  3. I am having similar problems, gradually having to supplement more and more. I too am impressed you've gone 9 months.

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  4. I've been fighting the fight, too. My son is only 11 weeks old, though. I am going to tough it out as long as possible or at least as long as I can without going insane. My milk production has never been much, just barely adequate. I supplement with formula, which for whatever crazed La Leche League reason, makes me feel guilty as hell. I'm drinking 3 liters of water a day to stay hydrated, taking fenugreek and blessed thistle supplements and eating oatmeal. Oh, and a beer a day. I'm not sure what else I can do. I've recently returned to work and am pumping 3-4 times a day. It's hard. Kudos to you for making it this far.

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  5. I'm so sorry! I don't have any advice but just sending you good vibes. Hope you can figure out how to make it work for you in a way that you are happy with.

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  6. My best friend had trouble pumping and tried all kinds of things; she went to work after nine weeks, and stopped breastfeeding recently, near his first birthday. Nine months is impressive. My sister-in-law is going to stop after six.

    Also, to introduce myself: I found your blog via Stirrup Queen, as I'm starting that long journey after learning about PCOS. I'm blogging about it here: http://roots-andwings.blogspot.com/

    Congrats, by the way. Gives me hope!

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  7. Hi, I'm Amy from Fairhaven Health. Hate to bother you, there was no way to send a private msg. I'm with Fairhaven Health. We manufacture natural, products for TTC’s, pregnancy and nursing. We are interested in sending you product samples to review or to use as giveaways. Just fyi, we're by no means a large pharmaceutical company and are committed to helping women conceive safely and naturally.
    Email me at: Amy@ FairhavenHealth. Com

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  8. Hi there! Found u through Heather at Joys in My Life!
    I think we all have these grand ideas of exactly how everything will go when that baby comes along. No one ever tells you how HARD breastfeeding is! No matter what you decide you need to pat yourself on the back and be proud. You breastfed that baby a long time!

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