Thursday, August 30, 2007

Probably WAY too much information...

So, I'm changing my tampon when I get home from work...

It's a little more of a challenge than usual, because my entire back went into spasm this afternoon and... well, I'm sure you can picture the difficulty, what with the inability to curve my back and all...

So, I get the applicator in place, with difficulty and pain, and hit the go button.

Unfortunately, I apparently didn't do such a hot job of lining things up, and thus stabbed myself in the cervix (!) with the Super Size (!) Tampax.


I think I deserve a Martini to go along with the Robaxacet. ;)

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

AF showed up tonight, which seems to confirm my suspicion that I ovulated earlier than my chart showed. Either that or something has gone terribly wrong with my LP this cycle, but I'd rather not think about that... Regardless, I'm glad she's showed because it means the searing pain in my bbs will be subsiding soon. Phew!

Since AF didn't show til late(ish) tonight, I'll be counting tomorrow as CD1. Which gives me until Friday night to decide if I'm going to start Clomid this cycle. I'm weighing three options - 1) Do nothing different, and see if I O earlier next cycle with just Met. 2) Take Vitex again in addition to the Met and see if that helps. 3) Start Clomid and see how that goes...

I don't know why it's such a tough decision. I guess I'm worried about side effects but I'm also keeping an open mind to the fact that everyone responds differently to it. The increased risk of multiples is a concern, but it's not so much of an increase that I'm really worried. I just don't know... I asked R his opinion the other day, and he told me he was comfortable with whatever I thought was best. His confidence in my decision is comforting, but it doesn't help me to actually make the call.

Too much on my mind right now!

Edited: Just wanted to clarify that the three options are mutually exclusive - even before the first time I took Vitex I researched it and the warnings on mixing it with Clomid are everywhere. Just thought I should clarify that since a couple of you mentioned it. :)

My second nomination for the Rockin' Girl Blogger awards is Karen of My Perky Ovaries. She's now gestated triplets for 30 weeks (30 weeks! Yay!) and and faithfully updated for all of us out in blog-land that are following her pregnancy, even when she's not feeling her best. She's had plenty of challenges with this pregnancy but has handled them all with grace and infectious optimism.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Found out this morning that one of R's little brothers 'knocked up' (my SMIL's words, not mine) his girlfriend, and they are due in April. And it might be twins...

I've spent most of the day hiding in bed trying not to think about it. I've cried. A lot. R has spent a lot of time consoling me and trying to tell me that everything will be alright.

Another 'oops' announcement. And on our anniversary. When we first started trying, I was so optimistic as to think I was going to be able to deliver a pregnancy announcement this time last year. Now the day has come around again and we're still not there. So many other people in our life are, and most of them by accident.

I think I could handle the waiting, in isolation. But all of these surprises are killing me.

Friday, August 24, 2007

I have a sneaking suspicion I'm not going to know what day I *really* ovulated until AF shows. When I entered my temp this morning, FF moved O from CD 30 to CD 33. If tomorrow's temp is similar, it will stay there. If tomorrow's temp is lower, it will move O back to CD 31.

So for a recap:

First, I thought I O'd on CD 26 based on symptoms.
Then FF gave me CD 30.
Today, FF moved O to CD 33.
Tomorrow, it could end up at CD 31.

None of these days are *any* good for intercourse timing, so this cycle is probably a total write off.

Luckily, I have a very consistent 13 day LP, so when AF shows I think I can adjust my O date accordingly (for statistical sake).


Both shocked and honoured.... to have been nominated for a Rockin' Girl Blogger award by M at Quest for a baby! M, your kind words gave me a warm fuzzy feeling, and really perked up what has been an overall very trying week!

I'm going to do my nominees one at a time, to give the girls the real spotlight they deserve (okay, so it may be partly because it is really really late right now and I have to work in the morning... More to come before the weekend is over, I promise!)

Firstly, dmarie @ Bella Vida - Not only is her blog a great read (which I'm so glad I found!), but she offered to send me quick grits from down south when I complained that Quaker doesn't distribute them here! (Which I am going to take you up on, by the way - we should make it an exchange, if you can think of something from up here that you'd like to try!)

TGIF ladies!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Back to cursing the H word...

O still isn't confirmed by temps - have had two 'elevated' temps now, which puts O at CD30 as long as my temp tomorrow is up as well. However... have not had any more fertile CM since CD26... And also haven't done the deed since then, due to my sciatic issues and the plague that R came down with last week (which, side note, I seem to be coming down with now... Yay!)...

I know I should just give up on charting, but I really can't see it happening. When the signs are clearer (which, really, isn't all that often...) it is a really nice tool to at least give me a vague idea of what is going on. If I didn't temp, I'd still probably have a good idea of when I O, but I wouldn't be able to confirm it, kwim?

Still! Even if I didn't O til CD30, that's still fantastic considering my usual record! The only cycle in recent history I've O'd that early is the Vitex cycle I did earlier this year - when I O'd CD33.

Anyway... If you like reading charts, have a click-through to mine and tell me what you think. Could I have O'd on CD26 and just be having a *really* slow rise for those first few days?

The thing I have to keep reminding myself is that I can't compare this cycle to any of my previous ones - because on Metformin, I'm really rewriting the book on what a 'normal' cycle is for me, and that includes pre and post O symptoms and the like. But it sure is tough to remember that all the time!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Excerpt from an IM conversation about infertility this afternoon with a girl I used to baby sit who is expecting her first:

well i would say not to stress and just let it happen and if it is meant to be then it will happen

This, from a girl I expected to understand because her mother went through hell to have her and her sister (10 years and 7 miscarriages between them).

So, I bit the bullet and gave her more information than she needed to know, in the hopes that maybe she'll avoid saying that to someone else in the future.

I've got PCOS. It ain't gonna 'just happen' for us!


In other news, I was laid up in bed today with an irritated sciatic nerve, and I had a wonderful conversation with a great friend which took my mind off the pain and boosted my mood and optimism. Thanks again Milissa - I just wish we could get to have chats like that more often!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I think I may have O'd yesterday. Unfortunately, I slept in this morning and completely missed temping, so I can't confirm til tomorrow. My poor bbs are doing the post-O pain thing, and my CM (and ear wax!) has completely disappeared. If I'm right, and I O'd on CD26, that is FREAKING AWESOME! Still, you know, not perfect. But a hell of a lot better than normal!

If I'm right, that puts AF starting on or about the 28th, and I'd be starting Clomid the 31st/1st of September! That's a whole lot better than the October/November scenario I had played out in my head. Thank you Metformin!!!

Of course, that's assuming that this cycle didn't work, and if I did in fact O yesterday, we did have good timing... so... I don't want to say the 'H' word... but...
LJ needs our help! It's down to the wire, and if she doesn't get a whole lot of votes a whole lot of quickly, she's going to lose the Second Annual "My Bad Boss" contest.

Her story is a good one, so go here to read and vote!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Really weird question...

Does anyone else notice an increase in ear wax production leading up to O?

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Borrowing a theme from several other bloggers, this post is about the keywords that have brought people to my blog through Google, and how I can or cannot help them with their queries:

One visitor was looking to find out how they could tell if their tamagotchi is overweight. I imagine Google sent them here because of this post, where I talk about how my tamagotchi is better at getting pregnant than I am, and this post, where I talk about my doctor saying commenting that I'm 'not overweight to begin with' (ha ha ha!). While my blog couldn't answer their question at the time, just in case any more searchers show up looking for the same info, if your tamagotchi is over 60lbs, it is overweight. Ideally, you should keep it under 30 unless it is an adult. Being overweight can prevent your tama from growing into a desirable character, and also from getting a job. You can find the weight by pushing the A button until the (health) meter is selected, and then pushing B until the weight is displayed.

Two people were asking the question "what if prometrium doesn't work?". First of all, I'm sorry. I've been there, and it sucks the first time it happens and you don't know why! Second of all, my doctor told me that for some reason, sometimes progesterone treatment resets hormones to the CD1 levels, and then you have to wait through a full cycle anyway. He also said that some people are more prone to this anomaly than others, so I'll probably never take Prometrium again just in case.

Three people searched "two pink lines". In case they were looking for the song l.yrics, here is a good link: Two Pink Lines - Eric Church NOTE: If you are currently going through infertility, I do NOT recommend you read those lyrics, because the people in the song are hoping that they *don't* see two pink lines. The ten people who searched 'waiting on two pink lines', I'd like to think they were actually looking for me for some reason, but they were probably going after the lyrics as well. There were many other variations on the 'two pink lines' theme, most of which relate to particular brands of pregnancy tests, and I've got absolutely zero experience with actually seeing two pink lines (when I got my BFPs with my m/c and with M, I used blue dye tests), so I'm no help there.

Two people were searching 'ovulation CD11'. I'm sorry, but I've got absolutely nothing here for you! My earliest O in the last year was CD33. Hopefully someday soon I'll have at least a close idea of what O that early feels like!

One person was searching 'PCOS doctors Vancouver Island'. I'm not going to give out my doctors name here, because that would really narrow down my location, but if anyone wants to talk about this off-blog, e-mail me at, and we can at least narrow down if we're in the same area.

One person was searching 'foods with metformin'. I've really been meaning to do a post about my experiences with Metformin, and what foods are good and which are really really really bad. So keep your eyes open, I'm going to try to get that up in the next week.

To the person who 'took Advil before I knew I was pregnant': Try not to worry about it. Ibuprofen is strongly contraindicated in the third trimester, and somewhat so while trying to conceive, but use in early pregnancy seems to be generally considered safe.

And now... I'm going to bed, because seriously? What the hell am I doing blogging at 3:40 in the morning when I've got the new king size bed all to myself because the dear hubby is out of town???
My blog is sooooo lame lately. ;)

All day, I keep thinking that I'm having O pains on the left side, but I keep talking myself out of getting my hopes up. For one, I'm relatively sure that I haven't O'd on that side in about a year - every time O has been confirmed, the pain has been on the right. For two... It's only CD22, and unless Met really is a frickin' miracle drug for me, this is waaaaaaay too early. Not to mention that I have absolutely zero other pre-O symptoms. But every time I feel that familiar stabbing pain... it sure does make a girl hopeful!

In other news, I let my FF VIP expire yesterday. I was hardly ever posting on the circles anyway (although I was keeping up with reading in my BG's as best I could), and the VIP charting features? Pretty useless when you've been at this so long that you could probably confirm O even without charting. Same old shit, different (three to four) month(s).

When I went to put my temp in this morning, I clicked on the community tab out of habit, and then got a sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach when it said that my membership was expired and I had to renew to log in to the circles. I'm a little sad that I'm going to miss the rest of the journey of some of the women I've been posting with. I made sure to point out my blog address in my signature before I left, so hopefully some of them will come find me out here. And if you are one of my BG friends and you've followed my link to here, please comment and make sure you come back if you have news to share!!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Click to view my Personality Profile page

Just as I suspected, although I have shifted a little to the right on the T/F continuum since the last time I took this.

Oh, and I'm an Accountant, which fits right in with this personality profile. Surprise surprise!

Sunday, August 5, 2007

This is what happens when I have nothing to blog about and a paper that I am avoiding working on...

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Edited: I have to add that it's a damn good thing I can pass eighth grade math, given that I make my living working with numbers.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Fun little quiz I picked up from Christina. I too was surprised by how eerily accurate this one is.

You're the United Nations!

Most people think you're ineffective, but you are trying to completely save the world from itself, so there's always going to be a long way to go. You're always the one trying to get friends to talk to each other, enemies to talk to each other, anyone who can to just talk instead of beating each other about the head and torso. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, and you get very schizophrenic as a result. But your heart is in the right place, and sometimes also in New York.

Take the Country Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid